Mommy's Heart Tonight

The last few weeks have been draining as a mom caring for her family during a time filled with illness.  Miss Em first had an ear infection, then a urinary tract infection, cut her finger and spent time in the ER and most recently had a cold and is currently dealing with some bout of stomach flu.  McGee had a nasty cough and cold last week and the stomach flu this week.  Ben (our dog) sliced his paw and required a vet visit where we also found out he had a pretty bad ear infection.  Add to that laryngitis for me and the stomach flu for Daddy and I as well.

Much of my time has been spent holding my babies, listening to whining, crying, administering medications and cleaning up mess after mess of the stomach flu, while also still trying to keep our household semi-clean and put together and meals on the table.  Middle of the night wake-ups have kept us all tired and we have had more cartoons on then probably the last 2 years combined.  I have had moments of frustration at having both children crying for Mommy, wanting me to hold them at the exact same time, but not wanting to have me hold them both.  What is a mother to do?

Be thankful.  And grateful.  That's right, I'm thankful for these last few weeks, the extra time spent cuddling, and the ability to be home here with my babies instead of working and worrying about them from a desk.  Grateful that ear & urinary tract infections, colds, flu bugs and cuts are all that my family is facing and that besides those, we are relatively healthy, have a home to live in, clothes and blankets to keep us warm, food to keep us fed, friends to make us laugh and family that loves us. 

Tim Timmons, singer/songwriter and worship leader for Mariners Church in Irvine, CA is a young husband and father and was diagnosed with Carcinoid cancer, an extremely rare and incurable disease six years ago.  His song, "The Grateful" has been a favorite of Daddy and mine since we first heard it.  You may be able to hear it here.  These lyrics speak from my heart tonight:

Each day, you've given, each debt, forgiven,

Each breath, these are a gift from you

Our hearts, are filled with, the joy, of your goodness,

This thanks, we want to give to you

We are the grateful, we sing of your love, we sing of your mercy,

We are the grateful, the grateful ones.

We are the grateful, we sing of your power, we sing of your kindness,

We are the grateful, the grateful ones.  The grateful ones.

You have created, bought back, and remade us,

Redeemed, all for your glory God

So like those before us, singing, this chorus,

We join, the song of unending praise

We are the grateful, we sing of your love, we sing of your mercy,

We are the grateful, the grateful ones.

We are the grateful, we sing of your power, we sing of your kindness,

We are the grateful, the grateful ones.  The grateful ones.

After reading about poor Layla Grace and especially this post from her mother, my heart is breaking for them as I imagine how impossibly difficult it would be to endure losing my own Miss Em, who is about the same age as Layla Grace.  My thankfulness and gratefulness is deepened.

Earlier today I read this post from A High and Noble Calling and was convicted thinking of how many selfish desires I have and how little time I've spent with God these last couple of weeks.  I could have gained strength through time with Him, I would have been encouraged, given wisdom to make wise decisions and patience for the frustrating moments, but instead I indulged during my "me time" in "vegging out" in front of the television and putting off my Bible study.  

Don't get me wrong, God has actually given me lots of patience these last couple of weeks, kept me strengthened, happy and enjoying the time with my babies, but it never hurts to recognize your weaknesses, your failures and look forward to what God has for you when you spend time with Him.  Hope for the woman I can be with deeper relationship with Him, joy that God is never far and always available, and a heart FULL of thankfulness and gratefulness for ALL of our many blessings and the incredible husband and children God has entrusted to me.

“Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus.  Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14