Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. As for me, this week was a doozie and brought lots of moments to share with you (I'm posting this actually a wee bit early, but we have Miss Em's 18 month check-up early tomorrow morning and I won't have time for the computer before we leave):
- I DIDN'T let Miss Em play with my scrapbook bag for a moment while I went to get the laundry, only to come back and find a BRAND NEW box of adhesive tabs opened and the roll strewn all over the living room with tabs littered about. Minutes later I did NOT leave her in our room while I ran into the kitchen to get a dust rag and come back to find one of Daddy’s dress shirts on the floor with adhesive tabs on the collar and an adhesive tab in Miss Em’s hair.
- Squatting down to grab something for Miss Em after church on Sunday, my pants did NOT rip in the back. These were not even tight pants, but comfy capri’s that I love. In my confusion to understand how it could have happened, my husband did NOT say, “Well I think it was just that catcher stance you did. Could have happened to any pants.” Nope, he’s not that sweet (actually, he is)!
- While in the giving my daughter of bath and sudsing up her hair I did NOT glance in the water behind her (she was on her knees) and see a GIANT poop! Yuck! That would NEVER happen with Miss Em, she is a lady of propriety who knows the proper places to take care of business. I did NOT quickly scoop her up in one arm, gather all the toys, begin to empty the water and rinse her off with clean water before depositing her in a towel on the floor and going back to get that giant poop outta there! I DIDN’T first attempt to scoop it out with one of the bath cups and then finally have to grab it with my hand and toss it in the toilet. I did NOT have to SCRUB at the non-skid mat for awhile to get all of the remnants off before disinfecting the tub, mat and all toys with hot water and vinegar.
- While starting to make dinner, my lightening fast daughter did NOT grab our dog Callie’s bowl of dog food, run with it to her room and proceed to try and eat it while sharing a few morsels with Callie. Nope, I would NEVER let that happen, let alone take pictures! (Oh come on, everyone’s eaten a little dog food in their lives! I did as a child and I’m still here and thriving.)
- In the hopes of saving money (or getting some of it back anyway), Miss Em and I went off to Macy’s to return some jeans I’d bought. The perfect time manager that I am, we DIDN’T arrive 15 minutes before they opened. So as not to waste time standing outside the store, staring at the doors, we DIDN’T decide to wander over to Ross just to “browse” until Macy’s opened and therefore we DIDN’T end up SPENDING money on some new winter hats and mittens for the kids. No, when I decide it’s time to tighten our spending belts, I mean it, and you CAN’T pry the money from me by parading adorable, fleece lined, ear covering hats and mittens in front of me for only $3.99!
- After walking a couple of miles with the kids to Starbucks and then a park from my friend Alicia’s house it was NOT an hour and a half into our adventure out that we realized the park had no bathroom. Her son did NOT have to pee hiding behind a tree. About 10 minutes later it was NOT my son who said, “I have to go poop.” This did NOT lead to my long-emptied Frappucino cup being converted into a waste receptacle with my son proudly scoring what I did NOT refer to as a “hole in one”. Absolutely NO way in this civilized day in age that I would be caught with a potty-trained 3 1/2 year old, miles from a bathroom!
- On our walk home from said park, while walking through a very affluent, older, lovely neighborhood with lots of mature trees that hung over the streets, my city-born son did NOT ask, “Mommy, is this the forest?” Oh how I wish we lived close to a real forest, but I suppose beautiful patches of trees here and there in our city will have to do for now.
Believe it or not I probably forgot to document some of the embarrassing moments from this last week, but I think I have confessed enough for today!