Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sweet Sunshine

Last night I probably stayed up later than I should have in a flu induced state, but what can I say, blogging is my new release. :)

I finally went to bed around midnight, but I seem to be struggling with insomnia the last few nights. I used to have it bad as a teenager, but then when I went to college it seems that all of the studying (and fun) made me ready to collapse into bed and instantly fall asleep. I remember my friend Kendra and I even using our 2 week 24 Hour Fitness passes near the midnight hour (it is 24 Hour Fitness) and I'd still fall right asleep when we came home. I digress.

At 1:15 am, just as I was finally drifting off to sleep, I hear Miss Em making some noise. I say "making some noise" rather than crying because Miss Em rarely cries at night (complete opposite of McGee in this respect). The last time I heard her cry in the night was when she woke up feverish with a UTI back in November. Miss Em was just kind of sighing, talking and well, grunting. I let her go for awhile hoping she'd go back to sleep, but finally went in to see her. Eyes wide, I knew this girl wasn't going back to sleep until I nursed her...or so I thought.

I picked her up and into the comfy glider we sat. So serene and peaceful, I pulled her to my breast and...nothing. No latching to be had. She didn't pull away, just looked up at me sweetly, yawned and gurgled her sweet little nothings. It was like she woke me up because she hadn't gotten enough cuddle time in the day and was letting me know how much she still needed to be held and cuddled. Despite feeling crummy and exhausted from the flu, I was able to indulge and relish Miss Em laying her head on my chest as I rocked and sung "Twinkle, Twinkle., Little Star". I only sung it once though as it caused me to start coughing which startled her peaceful state. After that, every few minutes or so she would just turn her head slowly, look at me, smile her super sweet, almost shy smile, yawn again then lay her head back down on my chest as I rocked her and kissed the top of her head. She never went to sleep, but seemed so happy and peaceful. After about 20 minutes I tried nursing her again and she wasn't interested so I laid her back in bed and we all slept the rest of the night (except for coughing and nose-blowing breaks for Kyle and I).

Thank you Lord for the sweet sunshine you pour into my life when I least expect it, or even think I want it.

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