Not Me! (or my kids) Monday

Oh boy.  It's been awhile since I've done a Not Me! Monday and it's not for lack of subject matter.  I think it's been for fear of people thinking what a complete failure I must be as a mom and as a wife.  Fear that people are tired of reading about the trouble my kids can and do get into on a regular basis.  Fear they'll lose all respect for me and consider me a flaky brained gal for some of my mishaps.  Fear that CPS may eventually be called.  Okay maybe that last one is a bit of a stretch, but you never know.

Oh well.  It's me, it's my kids and this is our life.  I still want to document these moments so my kids know what some of the days were like when they were little and also as proof of their less than angelic behavior on occasion, in case I suddenly have a case of completely rose colored glasses like my mother has and can't remember a single bad thing they did. :)

Let's see, where shall I start?

-  This past week my kids (most often Miss Em, but possibly with McGee's assistance on some) did NOT:

      - get the Simple Green from under the counter and use it to clean their own little play kitchen (thankfully it is non-toxic, but still a no-no in this house)
      -  attempt to make chocolate milk in the microwave with a plastic cup, milk and chocolate syrup (fortunately I was walking down the hall when I heard the beeps and stopped her before she pressed "start")
      -  squeeze out half her toothpaste into a cup and then squeeze another 1/3 of it all over the bathroom sink
      -  wave her spoon of yogurt around in the air like a wand, successfully flinging yogurt all over the dining room including the floor, walls and on the dogs' heads
      -  empty two containers of red cookie decorating sprinkles all over the counter and floor with just a smidgen that made it into a little bowl she wanted to "mix" them in
      -  rip up 2 of Mommy's "Anne of Green Gables" books while supposedly taking a nap in her crib (they are kept in a bookshelf next to her crib)
      -  take a newly opened tube of Aveeno Lavender cream and pour globs of it all over her brother's bedspread and a huge glob in her friend Jackson's hands as he was sitting on her brother's bed (at least everything smelled nice one it was wiped up, maybe the calming aroma soothed my temper a bit???  Hmm....) 
      -  tear apart a piece of styrofoam padding into "snow" all over his room and this was NOT a specific piece of packaging Mommy needed to ship back a camera lens with
      -  complain for an hour before leaving for church and on the 25 minute drive to church about how much he didn't want to go to church and how much he doesn't like church and why he shouldn't have to go (yes this was 4 yo McGee)
      -  take out of the box, open and squeeze out a large portion of Mommy's BRAND NEW Lancome Juicy Tubes lip gloss all over the bathroom counter and her face and hair (yes this was Miss Em and yes, this stuff is ultra thick and had to wipe off)
      -  fight against nearly every outfit Mommy tried to put on her each day this week (and yes I could have let her where something of her own choosing, unfortunately none of it was weather appropriate and she refused jackets or sweaters too)
      -  stay up 2 1/2 hrs. past their bedtime refusing every attempt to put them to bed at Grandma & Grandpa's house
      -  break a framed picture on an adjoining room's wall after it fell down when Miss Em rolled out of bed and hit the wall on one of the above mentioned attempts for slumber
      -  stand on the couch and jump up with his sword hitting the large family wall hanging (that Mommy just finally put up a few months ago) causing it to fall and break the frame
      -  honestly I'm pretty sure I could go on with a few more things but each disaster and mess kept running into the other that I think some of them may have been forgotten.

 - I DIDN'T wear the same jeans 3 days in a row

 - There's NO WAY I stayed up until 1am again waiting for a load of clothes to dry so I could fold them.  Nope, I'm definitely NOT that particular about letting my clothes sit in the dryer and wrinkle.  Oh and that load of clothes was NOT put in the dryer at about 9:45pm taking 3 hours to dry!  We are NOT most likely in the market for a new clothes dryer. :(

 -  After a mentally exhausting week (see all listed above), I did NOT laugh hysterically, to the point of crying, during a car chase scene in the movie "Date Night" that I watched with my SIL

-  While in line with about 7 other people at the only register open at Target, I did NOT realize Miss Em had the bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms (my weakness) and when I reached to grab them from her she did NOT yank them away causing the bag to break completely open and M&Ms to fly (literally) up into the air and all over the cart and ground around us!  The people all around me did NOT laugh and I do NOT fear that Target may soon ban us after Miss Em's past 10 minute screaming fit there a couple of weeks ago and this most recent M&M mess.  On the up side, my embarrassment and flustered state kept me from getting another bag of M&Ms and the whole debacle kept me from eating that delicious but calorie laden treat.

Since I like to always include a photo in my posts, but was too busy jumping from mess to mess cleaning up that I didn't photograph any of the above, I'll leave you with this low-quality picture of Miss Em at the train museum in the sleeveless dress she wanted to wear.  Fortunately I was able to get some jeans on her under the dress and a sweatshirt from the car to the entrance, but then she wanted to just wear her "pretty dress".  Oh what a little diva I have!

I did also enjoy some wonderful cuddle time this week with my babies in between the chaos and we had an awesome time with my sister and niece when they came up to celebrate my niece's 1st birthday!  I'll have a post on that soon I'm sure.