Broken

UPDATE:  Layla Grace Marsh passed away early this morning and is now playing with the angels.

Right now I should be sleeping.  I should be snuggled in my well-worn snowman flannel sheets and getting the rest I know I need.

Instead I am sitting here crying as my heart breaks for the family of Layla Grace, a little blue-eyed two year old girl, a precious girl who is dying from neuroblastoma cancer.  Her sisters (9 & 3) have had to stay at their grandparents for the last two weeks never to see their sister again, her parents have had to endure the long days and nights of watching their baby die.  Slowly.  Painfully.

According to their recent blog posts Layla is just wasting away and due to an allergy to morphine and all of it's relatives, this poor girl is having to endure tremendous pain.  I do not know this family, I haven't been following their story long, but I'm a mother.  I just picture this tiny girl (and so many other children ill or dying) and can't help but be broken thinking of the pain they are in and the strength their parents must have to survive watching their children in pain, suffering and knowing they won't be getting better until they see Jesus.  I believe God is a miracle worker, that He can save if it's His will, but it's looking like Layla will be meeting Jesus very soon...possibly tonight even.

The thought just makes me want to go in and hold my dear Em, our blue-eyed almost 2 year old, the girl who threw a yelling, crying fit for a majority of a 30 minute drive home today, the fiesty gal who has been a bear (the growling kind you wake from hibernation, not the cute cuddly kind) to get dressed lately - kicking, screaming, pushing, fighting.  Despite her difficult moments, I nearly fell apart a few weeks ago when we had to take her to the ER for a cut finger and stitches.  Seeing her scared and in pain was so hard.  I cannot (nor do I ever hope to) imagine having to watch her die. My prayers tonight are for this girl to be free from pain and for her family to have continued strength and comfort during this indescribably difficult time.